When You Discover your Personality type, you learn how to compliment, not compete in all your relationships–Especially your Marriage!
This week we are going to explore how four different personality types deal with change. You will discover whether you are the take charge type, the people person type, steady and calm, or a process and procedure type.
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Last time we focused on 3 steps that you could take to navigate through times of change. I hope you were able to recall other successful changes in your life, that you were able to go easy on yourself by understanding that change is awkward, and that you were able to do something that made you feel in control.
In today’s session, we’re going to talk about how different personalities deal with change.
Human behavior is a subject that has been studied in depth since the turn of the last century. Psychologists have conducted a plethora of research about human behavior and have identified 4 basic personality types. You might have even had an assessment that categorized you as a combination of letters, such as the Myers Briggs or DISC profile. Some assessments even categorize the behaviors by referencing animals, colors or types of ice cream.
Today we are not going to discuss behavior assessments. What we will do is identify the basic four behavior types and how each type responds differently to change and how this may be impacting your relationship at home and in business. We are simply going to use these categories as a tool to better understand how we cope with stress and change.
The four types are:
- The take charge type
- The people person
- The steady, calm person
- The process and procedure person
Let me describe the four types and then we’ll talk about how they deal with change. The first type of person has a strong tendency to be a “take charge” type and often the instigator of change. They like to be in charge, they move at a fast pace, and they are the first ones to suggest that we: “change things around here”. They adapt to change as long as they are in charge. If they are not in charge of the change, they will often resist the change, argue vehemently about it and can be the last one to support it.
The second type are very personable– we call them “people persons”. They tend to have a positive outlook on life and may not be as bothered by procedural changes. They tend to adapt to the world around them. These people are also fast paced, but focus more on people than they do on processes. Their biggest concern is how the change is going to affect their relationships. Maintaining relationships is more important to these types than the impact of the change. Of course, as you can imagine, this type of person needs to talk about the change, discuss it with everyone they know, and make sure that the change has minimal impact on their relationships. When a relationship has to change, these people have the most difficulty.
All of us know someone who is really steady, the third type. They love routine. They move through life more like a sail boat than a jet ski. Their biggest concern about change is how it’s going to affect their routine. They need more time to adjust. The difficulty about steady people is that they often do not express their discomfort with change so it is easy to believe that they have adjusted. If you are one of the steady types, then you need more time to process – especially if it significantly disrupts your routine. If you are a steady person, you may feel more lost, vulnerable, and uncertain about change. You may even dig your heels in and be perceived as stubborn.
And the last fourth type we’ll talk about is the person who focuses on tasks and procedures. They like knowing what the rules are and will follow the policy and procedures. They are sometimes described as the more serious type. They collect data and arrive at a conclusion in a very systematic way. Sudden changes, especially if they are not supported by rationale thinking, are very difficult for this type. Their concern is how the change is going to impact them and their tried and true way of doing things. This type of person will think about change in a more scientific way. They want it to make very good sense and will want time to test the change before showing too much support.
As I talked about the four types of people, I’m sure most of you thought, “Well, I’m a little bit like that style and a little bit like another style.”
That is normal.
The important lesson I want you to learn today is that we have a natural way of dealing with change.
And that style is different for all of us.
What is difficult for one person to accept is easier than other. What may drive you to despair or panic may not bother another person at the same intensity.
Therefore, you cannot measure your ability to cope with change against someone else’s. Your ability to thrive will be different from someone else’s. I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your relationship, marriage and in business.
This week, pay attention to not just the change that you are going through, but how the change that others are going through impacts them. Resolve to be patient with yourself and with others as you navigate the course of change. This isn’t about labeling yourself or others. It’s about creating compassionate connection with yourself and others to weather the storms in the midst of change.
Next time we I’ll share with you 5 tips for moving through the transitional period of change.
Until then, remember these words of Bruce Barton,
“When you are through changing, you are through.”
See you next time!
Dr. Lisa Hartwell
I’d like to encourage you to stay in touch so you can come on back and listen to the entire series at your leisure!
“A Thriving Marriage in the Midst of Change” titles are:
- Audio 1 – Change: What’s it Really All About
- Audio 2 – What’s Your Style When it Comes to Change?
- Audio 3 – Position for a Transition During Change
- Audio 4 – Bouncing Back from Change
- Audio 5 – Becoming the Best You
- Audio 6 – Helping Others Navigate the Course of Change
LISTEN HERE for PART 2 >Audio #2: What’s Your Style When It Comes to Change?
So tell me in the comments below – what positive things do you do in your marriage to successfully navigate through change?
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